I went into the hospital yesterday morning to be induced. Labor went fairly fast. They broke my water at 9 AM, I was ready to start pushing at 2pm and after about 3 pushes by 2:08 I finally got to see the sweet spirit I'd been carrying for the last 9 months. It was a perfect moment, especially before all the struggles that was ahead for me.
As with when I had Mia, the placenta was not wanting to come out on its own and so I was wheeling into surgery for a D&C to get it out. Even though I wasn't put under anesthesia for this I don't remember most of this from the drugs they gave me and from loosing so much blood. So far after going through a similar thing with Mia and with my miscarriage this has seemed to be the most severe losses of blood and set backs as I make my way to recovering.
So far I have had 5 units of blood, 2 units of plasma and 1 unit platelets to replace about half of my own blood supply that I lost during birth and surgery and to help with help blood clotting. This has made my body very week and has made me look about 50 lbs heavier from all the swelling. My body has also had some bad reactions to some of the medications they have given me too. Last night I was given some medication to help with pain and the shaking and all of the sudden I was short of breath and with the weight of everything I had been through physically and emotionally I had a nasty anxiety attack and couldn't get my breathing under control until they finally had to sedated me. This landed me in the ICU for the night for constant watch and care. I had only gotten to hold Livy for about 3 minutes that whole day and not until late that evening.
It's hard to tell in this picture, but at one time there was about 8 different bags hanging up that were going through my IVs to help me recover from all the blood loss. Below is a pictures of my swollen hands. If you can believe it or not this isn't even a picture of them at their worst!
By this morning I finally was able to try getting out of bed, which was a slow and painful process and not without a lot of help from the nurse and Eric who ended up pretty much carrying me to the bathroom. By lunch I had some kind of allergic reaction to some other medication where my tongue and throat started swelling and I couldn't breath again. They gave me some Benadryl that made helped me slowly regain my breath and knocked me right out.
Still with a lot of pain and slow moving I have made my way back upstairs to the Mother and Baby care unit closer to Livy and actually have even been able to start feeding her with help since I can't bend my arms enough to really hold her.
There has been no shortage of tears and struggling to keep a positive attitude after going through this yet a 3rd time in my life and with 2 sweet, little girls I so desperately want to be able to take care of right now instead of having to rely on everyone else. However, words can't express enough gratitude for my mother as well as Eric's grandparents who have been here helping take care of Mia and stay with me as well as give Livy so much welcoming love on her first days on earth. But I especially couldn't have done any of this without my strength and rock...my amazing husband! He has been that listening ear while I sit there and complain and offers positive and loving encouragement (not to mention tell me how beautiful I am even with my puffy lips, face and crazy mess of hair), has wiped away many tears and has been constantly at my aid as well as both Livy's and Mia's. He deserved the award for best husband and father of the year!
Livy is doing great and is so cute to watch! Mia is also doing great and getting lots of love and attention from both grandparents. She has been in to see Livy a couple of times and has jumping up on my best to snuggle with me and give me hugs and kisses. Hopefully we will all be home soon adjusting to our new life as a family of 4. In the mean time thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers! More pictures to come!
P.S. Due to the many drugs that I am on and my lack of sleep, please excuse the number of grammatical errors :) Good night!